Teens 2, 1983
Narr.- First there was "Tuk Wars"; then it was "The Umpire Strikes Back". Now it's "The Return of the Joboy". A long time ago in a Bible camp far, far away a great adventure took place.
(Backstage-singers sing "Give us a place to Camp and a place for fun and call this place 'Camp Dorion" to the tune of the "Star Wars" theme.)
Narr.-The camp has been stricken by famine because of the evil deeds of Darth Director. He and his hunchmen have taken over the kitchen and dining hall, leaving the staff and campers in a state of permanent fasting. However, deliverance from this seemingly imminent doom is received from a few heroic Joboys led by Big Al Groundstomper. Their mission is to save the helpless campers and staff from death. The home of the rebel base is the tukshop.where a handful of rebels have a small portion of food which is quickly being depleted. The rebels and their allies have one choice: defeat the Empire.
(Shawn Solo is standing frozen in the freezer. The kitchen girls are tied up in the corner. Enter Darth Director followed by two hunchman. After threatening the kitchen girls he takes one hunchman with him to make sure everything is secure. They exit. The other hunchman turns out to be Princess Lauretta in disguise. She smashes the ice containing Solo: "Crash or whatever." While attempting to drag the unconscious Solo out, she is caught by D.D. who has returned. She is tied up with the kitchen girls. However, Solo escapes.)
D.D.-And don't think Big Al Groundstomper or Shawn Solo will be able to rescue you, Princess Lauretta.
Narr.- The calamity of the famine has had a drastic effect on the whole camp. Some of the campers have resorted to eating mayflies, while a few ate the flagpole and some delirious campers even ate their counsellors. The rebels decided offensive action must be taken. Darth Director must be stopped!
(At the Tuk Shop.)
Big Al-This is terrible! All the food is being held by Darth Director and his evil hunchmen. It's so bad that one of the campers even ate her counsellor.
(Big Al and his soldiers gather outside the Tuk Shop to discuss their bleak future.)
B.A-We're down to our last bag of chips. If only Shawn Solo were here!
(Enter S.S. panting and running.)
B.A.-You've escaped!
S.S.-Yes, I'm now unfriesen, but Princess Lauretta got captured saving me.
(The rebels make their plans to attack D.D..)
And now back to the exciting conclusion of "Return of the Joboy".
(D.D. is with his prisoners. B.A. jumps in and they begin to duel with their laser swords. D.D. uses the washtub bass and drags it around. "I wish I had a longer extension cord," he says. Meanwhile S.S. rescues Princess L. and kneels before her, holding her hands and says, "I love you, Lauretta." She replies, "I know." However, due to the enthusiasm with which B.A. was fighting, the love scene was done three times before it could be heard. B.A. and D.D., due to the lack of any better ending, fight their way offstage and the noise of their battle is heard from time to time after the end of the play.)
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