| Bill: | Well, there's a packed house tonight for this week's Testimony Chapel. |
| Dan: | Yes, indeed, Bill, and everyone seems to be quite excited as they come in. Apparently there was some last minute jockeying for position in the lineup which has led to some confusion. |
| Bill: | Well, Danny, the teams are in position now and ready to go. Perhaps, before we start, you could tell us something about tonight's referees, Joe Gandier and Richard Pepper. |
| Dan: | Certainly, Bill. Gandier and Pepper have worked together before in Testimony Chapels and yet perhaps lack some of the experience for what promises to be a very freewheeling session. |
| Bill: | Talking about experience, where is Lamont Parks tonight? |
| Dan: | Well, Bill, he seems to have been making room for the new blood nowadays since his induction into the Testimony Chapel Hall of Fame. |
| Bill: | And well does he deserve it. No one can ever forget the finesse with which he handled the bragging melee of '76 and by himself as well. |
| Dan: | Yes, that was before the new two referee system with Gandier watching for Procedural infractions and Pepper in charge of Timing and Emotional Control. |
| Bill: | Do you think they'll use the "Tough Cop/Nice Cop" routine tonight, Dan? |
| Dan: | It's hard to say, Bill. Let's listen to Gandier's opening comments. |
| Bill: | Gandier is sticking to the safe stuff tonight. No new tricks. "Confess me before men etc." It's amazing how he can get the kids to squirm without even mentioning the "I will deny you" part. How do the team lineups look tonight, Dan? |
| Dan: | Well, Bill, there are some heavy hitters on both sides. On the Boys
team there's Big Billy Bad whose "I fell away and did so and so, but now I'm back" manoeuvre
always takes the wind out of the opposition's sails and adds some momentum to his team's
attack. I suspect he'll save it until late in the game. He is well supported by a whole lineup
of "happy ever sincers".
On the other hand, the Girls have Wanda Weeper who, if she really gets going, could lead to a breakaway for the Girls. As well, there is the highscoring Sally Savedagain who has managed to score at least once every T.Chapel with a hefty "I was saved this week" testimony----the last seven years in a row, I believe. |
| Bill: | Gandier and Pepper have gone over the rules and now both teams are standing for the opening song.... The opening song is over and the game is on. We're off to a slow start it seems. Both sides are looking nervously at each other, sizing each other up. No one wants to make the first move. There's a movement at the back. Everyone turns. Oh, it's just a fake by Willy Wobbly. The Girls reply with some foot shuffling at the front. Wait! Someone is breaking down the aisle in an unprecedented move. Oh, it's only a male counsellor-- no points here--this is just for strategy. |
| Dan: | He's taking a bit of a risk. His team may be encouraged by this, but already I see some of his team nodding off. |
| Bill: | Yes, Dan, you're right. The backfield is beginning to slouch and is
losing momentum. Their patience is running low and they may not be able to recover from this
setback. He's slowing down - no -- he's going again.
The record for the longest counsellor testimony in T.Chapel is ten minutes thirty-two seconds set by Jari Yakalot in 1967. Paul Jansen nearly broke his record a few years back, but couldn't find the verse he wanted and had to sit down. |
| Bill: | Well, after the initial slow start we've got off to a rough and rollicking Testimony Chapel. The Boys got an early lead of 4 and the Girls eventually replied with 2. Gandier then pulled the "Remain standing after singing" move and the Girls scored 7 fast ones including Sally Savedagain's. |
| Dan: | Yes, Bill, and hers was given double marks for graceful execution and show of sincerity. |
| Bill: | There were a few fouls given out on both sides for clapping and laughing and then the Boys scored 5 in a row, leaving us with a tied score of Boys 10--Girls 10. Now we break for this commercial message. |
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| Bill: | Wow! This Chapel has really come to life! The place is going berserk. The score is Boys-21 and Girls-20. It's a neck and neck race and we're in the last few minutes of play. |
| Dan: | It all started with Gandier's carefully placed "It won't get any
easier" plea and a brief version of his own testimony that would have gained high marks all
around in his camper days. Then Wanda Weeper got the girls going. Big Billy Bad, as expected,
moved in and scored at this point. However, a surprise goal came from Silent Sam Sour which was
very impressive. Here's a slow motion replay of that testimony:
His friends are nudging each other and he is ignoring them, staring at the floor. His legs move and his seat leaves the chair. He sits down again. On the opposite side Lisa Lonely begins to stand. Sam stirs again and shoots to his feet. He beats Lisa by a hair. See him shake, as he speaks. He sits back down and bows his head. Yes, sirree, Bill, I know his counsellors were proud of him. |
| Bill: | And now most of the Girls are in tears and some of the Boys as well. Little Katey Kute is standing for the third version of her sick cat story and Pepper is reaching for "Pass It On"! Gandier calls time and that's the game. |
| Dan: | And what a Chapel it was! It was hard fought, but the Girls came out ahead in the last minute: 22 to 21. They seem to have paid dearly for the victory, though, as the female counsellors have their hands full with tearful casualties. The Boys put up a good fight, especially Parkdale Place. There is some talk that Gandier has been involved in a conflict of interest, prepping his boys in the cabin and refusing snacks to nonchristians, but these rumours are as yet unsubstantiated. |
| Bill: | Anyway, Dan, it's been quite a night. We hope all of you out there have enjoyed it and will tune in next week for what may be the Chapel of the season, as it is rumoured that Uncle Lorrie will be guest referee. Good night and Happy Ever Since. |
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